Guess How Much I Love You…..

It’s not sleepytime, Mama. It’s hugging time. I want to hug you more Mama

-The King

Sometimes, I am so tired that I want to cry.

Sometimes, I laugh until my sides hurt and I can’t believe that so much fun could be had with a deflated balloon and an old sock.

Sometimes, I walk past the newborn photos in the wall and caress my tiger-striped tummy, remembering that there was a time when there was no you and I. Only we.

Sometimes, you stand with your hands in fists and anger etched upon your tiny face and I see my own eyes and your dads chin and your grandmothers eyebrows and so many pieces of love, that it’s hard to keep a straight face.

Sometimes, you say things that remind me that one day you’re going walk away right out of my arms and into the world, where there’s violence and ugliness and things are, as you like to say, ‘grumpy’ and it breaks my heart into a million pieces.

Sometimes though, you make my decoupaged heart so full, that I need to close my eyes and remember to breathe. Remember to fill my lungs with these moments that quiet my brain and allay my fears. Remember to wrap your heart in so happiness, that when you do find love, you will shrug it on like an old coat. Familiar and warm.

Guess how much I love you? Right up to the moon- and back.

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De-pimp my Ride

Rollin' down the street

I was having a fantastic morning; Killer workout, wacky Wednesday at my son’s school and a Superfood smoothie. Seriously, all the ingredients to a bang-up day. And then I pulled into the parking lot at work. Because of my superb(Read: … Continue reading

If I had a daughter…….

Seen this commercial on TV lately? Yeah. Me too.

And every single time I see that beautiful little girl on the trampoline I get a bit more pissed off.  Why, because little girls don’t need to grow up in a world where dreams of living in a castle become dreams of losing weight.

If I had a daughter, I’d tell her that her body is more than a number on scale, and if she needs to measure something, measure her happiness. Measure her intelligence. Measure her self-worth, and realize there aren’t numbers high enough to capture that.

If I had a daughter, I’d try to teach her that the heaviest weight a woman can carry is low self-esteem, and no amount of running or dieting can make her fall in love with the person she sees in the mirror.

If I had a daughter, I would want her to understand that dreams should be as big as the universe  and shouldn’t be wasted wishing to chip away all the things about her that makes her undeniably her.

If I had a daughter, I would want her to understand that ‘pretty’ is bullshit, and that some of the prettiest people do the ugliest things.

If I had a daughter, I would hope that she saw something strong enough in me to straighten her spine and shrug off the pervasive media influence that is bowing and breaking today’s little girls.

Be healthy, I would tell her, but above all be whole.

But I don’t have a daughter.

I have a son, and I hope to raise him so that one day he can look into the eyes of his own daughter and want her to stand tall, whole and perfectly imperfect.

Like his Mama.

Top Reasons Mama Needs a Timeout

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1. Mom guilt trips: I really thought that I would be this super self-actualized mother, who wouldn’t resort to guilt trips like mothers of yesteryear. Nope. You can scratch that. Want to know why you call your mom every week … Continue reading

Conversations with a Toddler #6

Mommy Lies

On one hand I realize that toddler’s behavior is driven by a need for budding independence. On the other hand, that’s total BS,  it’s driven by Karma. And Karma remembers what a ‘precocious’ child I was. We had just concluded … Continue reading